The Root of All Evil

To me, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is THE holiday Christmas special of the season. Yes, there are many great and classic specials like “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” or “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, but Rudolph will probably be the one that never a single Christmas goes by that I don’t sit down and watch it from beginning to end. I’ve done it as long as I can remember, and it’s just not the holidays to me until I hear Burl Ives sing “Silver and Gold” and “Holly Jolly Christmas”. Then I’m ready for everything associated with Christmas.

Yet lately I’ve begun to notice a change in myself when watching this holiday classic. Is it just me, or do many of the characters have major personality issues. I mean come on, the message I get now is that Santa is a dick unless he wants something for you. Donner, the coach of the Reindeer Games is just like every prick P.E. teacher I ever had. Rudolph was a wimpy little momma’s boy who never stood up to anything until the Bumble. Oh, and ripping the teeth out of the Bumble? That was nice, now how is he going to eat, and where was PETA then.

Maybe it’s the cynical nature that living in the world has taught me that makes me think about these things when I watch this television classic that I love so much. I’m sorry, but I still cannot begin to imagine a kid that wants a Choo-Choo with square wheels. Isn’t that mental abuse, and what the hell is a giant flying Lion doing ruling over the island of misfit toys? The only character that makes any sense to me at all is Yukon Cornelius, and he admits he’s just frickin’ nuts to begin with.

Still it gets my highest recommendation because kids see none of this. They see a great story from a song come to life and hear the soothing tones of Burl Ives’ narration. Plus you have to admit that the songs in “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” are some of the best ever written for an animated TV special. Best of all, it’s the nostalgia issue that has embedded “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” into the fabric of American holiday culture. It simply would not be Christmas time without it.

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